Thanks so much for your concern. I am seeing a psychiatrist, and he has done wonders for me. I've fought depression most of my life, and in the past couple of years have made great progress in creating the life I want. It is still difficult for me to figure out what I want...I am so far removed from any dreams I may have had. But, I am getting there. I have attempted suicide once at the age of 19 or so, and have been hospitalized several times for suicidal desires. However, I now know that I have value, and it is no longer an option for me. (Even though I sometimes feel as if it would sure put an end to my pain) I do know that whatever problem my daughter has with me is just that - her problem. I do hope that she will honor her promise to enter counseling with me, but I'm not counting on it. Either way, I will continue to strive to find my purpose and foster an attitude of gratitude, love and compassion in my life. I am very fortunate to have a doctor who I can call for support if I ever get too close to giving up. I know that taking care of myself is my first priority, and I have pulled out my reserves and gotten busy doing exactly that. I ate a good dinner tonight, spent some time walking a friend's dog, and talked with my sister in Mich. I feel much better now and I know that I am strong enough to deal with this issue without losing myself. Between now and Christmas, I will decide on a way to handle her attacks without internalizing them and letting them hurt me. I will enjoy the time with my beautiful grandsons, and I'll be sure to pack my Xanax!
I do so thank everyone who has :listened: and cared. I'm so glad I found this forum.