Exactly how can we find men who are truly genuine and respectful as opposed to the ones who're just pretending to be so and in the end turn out to be either using us for fun or just plain abusive?

Especially when it comes to dealing with the past... How to find out the men who will genuinely get on with life rather than dwell in the past?

Question is applicable to when we find love or in case of an arranged marriage (this will be more difficult as we won't be able to interact well enough to find a guy's true nature).

Really just plain confused