I think most of the people who go into therapy as a career are quite compassionate people who really like and care about other people. I consider myself to be a person who really cares about other people and I don't feel anything slightly negative towards you for a second after reading your post and I don't think your therapist would think a negative way about you either.

Some people seem to be so naturally gifted at taking on board every positive comment that comes their way and disregarding the negative ones...and those of us who struggle with depression, anxiety and self-esteem issues are often so good at the opposite, internalising every negative comment and totally disregarding anything positive. I've dealt with one medical professional who was really unhelpful, and I don't think my GP really understands what's best for me either. Those people aren't the ones who really know and understand us though, and they aren't the people we should be listening to.

Therapists are used to dealing with people who struggle. It’s okay to make a mistake, to stumple, to be unsure, to change your mind. It sounds like you really need someone to hear you, and to help you. It’s okay contact your therapist again and ask for help, even though you cancelled your appointment. Life shouldn’t be so hard. It’s really unfair that it is so hard. You do deserve the help and understanding.