I am so sorry about your appointment with your pdoc. I know exactly when my hypomanic states are going to come on, and I do prepare for them, watching to see if my meds are working. So far the lamotrigine has worked very well from becoming hypomanic. I really think that once they figure out the right combination of meds, you will be able to keep your mania in check, and not have to go inpatient when you do.

I got through law school with bipolar. It was a challenge, but knowing when to expect mania and depression enabled me to treat it well enough to get through my program.

I understand how you are feeling. I once thought that my hopes and dreams were put to an end by my diagnosis. Life is hard, but easier now that I know what to expect and pretty much know when to expect it, and what to do to keep it subdued.