I am struggling big time with abandonment right now. it's been at the forefront of my mind for the past few weeks and i am not quite sure why, i also dont know how to stop it.

Abandonment has always been an issue for me. I know where it stems from-my mother. When i was a child (5 or so) she would say that she was going to the corner shop for a pint of milk, or to visit our neighbour, and then disappear for a few weeks/months. We never knew when it would happen. Sometimes we'd come home from school and she's be gone, or sometimes we would wake up in the morning and she would have gone in the night. Other times i'd be playing in my room and she's just go without telling me.

I know the reason behind why i struggle with abandonment, and i see that it would make sense that i would struggle with it.

But it has ruined every relationship i have ever had. And now it is effecting my relationship with my T. I am terrified she'll abandon me. Now, logically i know she wouldnt abandon me without a good reason (like death for example), but although the adult side of my knows this, i cannot accept it to be true.

For some reason, the past 2 weeks have been horrendous. It (my T abandoning me) has been on my mind constantly, every second i am wondering if i am going to see her again or if she has decided not to give me therapy anymore etc

Abandonment really sucks