I am a little torn.... because I feel that I do not have the "whole story".

38 years of marriage. Hubby has cancer (I think I read that you said he is sick)....

Those issues give me SOME pause.

However, that being said...... My knee jerk reaction to anyone who is receiving physical or mental abuse. Or even the threat of abuse (which I view as emotional abuse) - is never, ever, ever, ever acceptable.

I do not know your specific situation and I do not know what his issues are. But if he has harmed you or threatened to harm you - then KICK HIS BUTT TO THE CURB. At a minimum - this bold measure may be the *loving* response that he needs experience so that he realizes that he has crossed a boundary that he can not cross.

He OWES you a serious apology and a change in behavior.