Perryc, I know what you mean about passive suicide. For years I would put myself in stupid situations that could have caused harm, please get help if you aren't now. I waited so long that the thoughts started intruding in my everyday life and things do not get better on their own. I found several sites when I typed "help" in google I was drowning at the time and couldn't think of what else to type. Hang in there, this is a great community.