We found out today a whole bunch of things that has my family falling apart.

Yesterday my grandfather had a biopsy done to find out he has bladder cancer. This is being near a year in remission from prostate cancer. And what breaks my heart the most is that he said "if I had a gun I'd just put a bullet through my head.". How do people keep expecting people to fight again and again? I am fighting one thing and I am so ready to give up. I can't imagine his pain.

We also found out we do not have the money for our rent. Which means a very possible eviction which means having no where to go. I don't even want to talk about it too much because I am going to be sick. My extended family (who knows ALL of our business some how) is angry with me because I took a leave from work due to my health issues. Apparently it's all my fault. Apparently if we end up homeless it's all on my shoulders because I GOT SICK.

I am so ready to give up at this point. Be that from mentally checking out or running away. I am done with this all. I'll let my body consume it's self and live in a box alone and maybe, maybe, just smile and mean it. Because the life has already been sucked out of me. If there are souls my is certainly gone, and I don't even want it back.