I'm so sorry that happened to you and that you cannot to anything about it, That does suck. I might think that my husband would be upset but would turn the anger towards the wrong person, since he would know there was nothing he could do either! Then again, my husband also triggers me to smoke (like you) and I can't seem to rationalize that lol....anyway hope you get things sorted out with your step daughter. (I didn't speak to mine for almost 5 years, because of the way she treated me at her wedding), so there's no crime in you just telling them both NO. Hugs!!