Hi Mouse,

I definitely hear your reservations about AA. The beauty of AA is that you can choose your environment. When I first came in 1990, I was incapable of making too many decisions, let alone the decision to turn my life and will over to a higher power that I did not understand. Nowhere in the Big Book does it say that you cannot seek other avenues of growth, just not too many people do. Heck, I have been in and out of therapy, spiritual groups, etc. and I would not be here today if I only used AA as my sole way of staying clean. If there is any doubt that you are alcoholic, go and drink and drug somemore until you are convinced one way or the other, I did. My last O.D. in 1989 convinced me. People in AA tend to put people with long term sobriety up on pedestals where they do not belong. I have been sober since Jan. 2, 1990 and that time does not mean too much to me. Whoever gets up first in the morning has the most amount of sobriety. I can only stay sober until midnight tonight, and that is it. So, I have stayed sober only 1 day at a time, really. Please try not to listen too much to opinionated AA'ers. What kept me sober was going to 90 meetings in 90 days (of course visit different ones and find some you actually like!), getting a sponsor and using that sponsor to go through the steps IN ORDER!!, and reading the Big Book, meditation books, etc., and I went to therapy with a LCDC (licensed chemical dependency counselor. I hope you find what you are looking for, in or out of AA. PM me anytime.

MK