Hi guys, THANK YOU from the heart. I can't explain how helpful you've been.
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As someone with an eating disorder too you have my sincere sympathy. Doctors office's can be a real source of shame that only keeps us from getting the help we need. I completely agree with the above poster who said to reach out again to your T, you deserve all the support they can offer you.
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Thank you, I disclosed to just 2 persons and look what happened with one! I really didn't expect it, always stuck between my needs and the fact that is a doctor "so maybe she's right". Now I finally see how much she's damaging me.
I was already sure I would never hear from her again when T texted me back saying, thank you for telling me, I'll see you next week, same time then. We usually don't have outside of session contact except for such arrangements so she didn't ask the reason for it as my text was very plain and quiet.
And I feel like I can't retreat after she agreed and adjusted and maybe she doesn't even have that space left. I don't know. I'm not sure if I want to bother her again tomorrow saying I want my hour back. I would like to explain her for advice.. but I guess I'll just skip this session (seems to me an eternity to the next one, lol) and try to cope while I make some clearness? I feel lost, but I'm relieved cause I have an appointment, at least she hasn't abandoned me yet.
I feel literally unable to contact her again, I wonder what she'll think next week if I say I've had such a blackout and couldn't listen to my own needs.
By the way, I'll start looking for a new GP tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have to go back to mine next tuesday. But I've learned the lesson and whatever that woman is going to tell me, I'm not going to reschedule with T ever again.