Damn, all I can say is wow, I am surprised. I came clean and it's like they already knew!!! They hinted they knew some thing over my last visit when I insisted with staying on Zoloft, my doc is like "I don't know, I'm concerned you might go manic". What I don't understand is what happened? They gave it to me in 1998 no concerns. I'm guessing they must have searched for old records on me recently. I asked her, why would you think I could go manic? And she answered I'm bipolar. All this time I'm wondering if I should say any thing and they found out any ways. Damn. So now they are suddenly all concerned about me on Zoloft with Wellbutrin. They are ok with the Wellbutrin but are concerned about the Zoloft. I talked them in to giving me another script and I will see them again in 3 weeks. I'm sure I will be ok, after all I been ok for the past 2 months on it.

I should have seen all this, the signs were all there! The visit before last my gdoc requested I get a psych exam. Why did I not see the clues? Any way it's ok, my doc is pretty cool. I went to my first T visit in years and we spoke openly and honestly. I held nothing back. Stupid me or good thing not sure yet because now we must figure out if my psychosis is dependent on my mood disorder or independent of my mood disorder. If it's independent, I may be schizoaffective bipolar type. I was assured it would be the same treatment. Because I have delusions I can't be BP2, so it's either BP1 with psychosis or schizoaffective bipolar type.

I told you it would be complicated! I just don't care any more.