Don't EVER ACCEPT that this is who you are because it's not! What you can and need to accept is that you DID NOT deserve to be mentally tortured the way you were by your family! I can relate to how you are feeling as far as seeing no light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise there is and you have me and everyone else in this forum who are here for you through this healing process !!

Here are several things that you need to acknowledge as progress and a beginning to an end of an emotionally unhealthy environment you were raised in......
1. You have recognized that the issues you are dealing with in relationships in your adult life are a product of the toxic environment you grew up in and just the recognition of this is HUGE, even though you might or might not realize this yet, YOU WILL . I am in the exact same situation you are in right now and when I feel those sad, "why did this happen to me" & an enormous amount of hurt and anger......I tell myself that at least I am in my 30s when I have realized this, INSTEAD of when im 40, 50, 60 & worst of all NEVER realizing it which is true to the family members who emotionally abused all of us.
2. You have begun seeing a T which is an important resource for learning how to develop healthy coping skills when you experience those triggers. As far as your T telling you that you will struggle with this for the rest of your life is completely wrong in so many ways, a simple one being that was an "all-or-nothing" statement. You will NOT struggle with this for the rest of your life. I don't know how long it has been since you realized your emotionally abusive family environment has affected your relationships as an adult, but this this how many years you were exposed to this environment and tray to put that in a positive perspective in realizing that it is going to take time to heal. I agree with the others about your T. You DON'T need to waste your time and money on a T that isn't truly helping you move forward in your healing process.

You were never taught the necessary emotional tools to be able to use in your life (boundaries, love and respect who you are, be assertive, how to communicate effectively your emotions to others....) and neither was your family members.

However, you have the courage and motivation to FIGHT and NOT flight now!!!! It's almost like I feel I am the LUCKY ONE who has realized my mom has narcissistic personality disorder and I can do something about it now to begin to heal and start an emotionally healthy chapter in my life. I no longer have to wonder why my mom behaves that way and honestly I NO LONGER have to waste time in my T appts trying different ways to understand and communicate with her. I finally can focus on just myself moving forward to learn how to cope and begin the healing process.

To me, realizing that you were brought up in a toxic and emotionally abusive environment and wanting to break bring cycle is liberating in itself. This is such a cliche quote but it's true in every aspect "what doesn't kill you DOES MAKE YOU STRONGER!!!"