Hello and welcome to Psych Central! To begin with, having to live hand to mouth is stressful on any couple. Then all the difficulties with day to day living--all the details that need to be dealt with such as bed bugs, an uncooperative landlord, etc.

All the stress could be bringing out some issues in you. You two are now very dependent on each other and trying to learn how to be a couple. That said, it could be you are showing signs of a personality disorder, such as borderline, as you mentioned.

I suggest you check around to see if there is a clinic you could go to, so you could talk to someone. Some of these clinics just take what people can pay. I think you and your partner, if he would go, could use a counselor, too.....If you are the least bit religious, and a pastor is willing (he might not be with a couple just living together), then you could talk to him.