I think the person who would feel hurt would be your future mother-in-law. But although she might rant and rave and even cry, I honestly don't think she SHOULD be hurt by her daughter getting married and having her own life. I am glad you want to please everybody, but in this case, I don't think that's possible.

She sounds like she has little sense of boundaries, if at this point she is still wanting to watch her daughter in the shower! My mother used to follow me into the bathroom stall in public bathrooms after I was an adult, if you can imagine that! I finally had to tell her that that would NOT do.

I really think it would be a good idea for your fiancee and you to have a few premarital sessions--with a counselor of some kind. Some churches require the couples to meet with the pastor for a few sessions. My husband and I did. The pastor actually said I should tell my mother to "go to hell" after I told him how she was acting about my impending marriage!