It seems like using the forum may be something of a coping mechanism for you at times when you can't reach out to people in RL- I know it can be for me - so my concern is if you don't have something healthy to do instead. I don't know how you sitting on your own crying and isolated is preferable to your interacting here. That said, I don't know how healthy threads like your last one are for you. I don't know what the answer is, rainbow, but I care about you and want you to feel better than I understand you're feeling right now