I really really cna't take it anymore. Nobody cares. I have not one ****ing person in the universe to talk to about anything. Whether its depressive **** or just idle chit chat. My family has never been close and always aloof. My bf doesn't understand a ****ing thing I'm going through. I don't think I he cares at all. I told him I feel like I have no one to talk to (cause he's never around) and his response is to get angry and ignore me even more. I don't even feel like I have a bf. I have a roommate that I barely see and never speaks to me. The only thing keeping me alive is the thought that I couldn't do that to my son. My sister killed herself when I was 10. It hurt a lot, but I can't imagine what it would be like for a child if their only parent killed themself. I can't die, but I want NOTHING more. I really wonder whats gonna go first. My mind or my life, cause I CAN"T do this anymore. I hope I die driving to work tonight. The roads are pretty ******... here's hoping. Fingers crossed.