I use to self harm but don't do that any more even though I still struggle with it. Today in my psych class at school we learned about major depressive disorder and all those.. and learned that it has to be at least 2 years or more.

I took the depression quiz today and scored a 54 for severe depression.
Two years ago I had taken it in November of 2011 with a 54 of severe depression. Two other times I took it and for 52 in between now and 2 years ago. It could be that I only take it when I am feeling depressed. So i don't know if I am actually depressed. I know i'm angry right now.. because I feel sad but I shouldn't.. and I wanna feel alive. So today I went to the beach instead of going home after class and it didn't help I just still feel so meh.

And it makes me angry because it's selfish to be so meh when I have so many great things happening for me in life right now.

And I'm angry.. because I feel the need for self harm this week because I feel like I need to make things right...

And It makes me confused an frustrated that i'm angry because I JuST Wanna stop and go back to happy.. and ugh.. It's in and out though..

It's dumb to talk about because really im fine...