Do any of you write letters to your T? Or thoughts during the week that you give to T? I don't verbalize nearly as easily as I type and T graciously accepts and encourages my writings to her, as she says i'm a "thinker".

I've noticed that she keeps the notes (and prints the emails) - and I kind of am getting suspicious as to why? In the beginning she'd ask if I wanted it back, I'd say no (because I'd just burn it anyway) and she'd say "Ok, i'll keep it then." When I write in the mini comp books she gives those back so I can write more in them.

There's almost always an offer to take the letter back, but the session before last I was in a particularly low place and wrote her a letter she described as having "some very intense emotions" in it. During that session she said "So...i'm going to just hold on to this..." and then I looked up (reactively because she doesn't normally use that tone) and she backtracked and offered me the chance to take it back.

I hate to imagine it's evidence to use against me (she has literally told me thats not her m.o.) but in a way, its starting to feel like that. I know I can always decide to take them back, but I have never been suspicious of her motives until this time.

Is that normal for a T? What is the benefit in holding on to stuff like that? Do they go after session and evaluate it in more detail? Compare it to past letters and thoughts? Or use it as a safe guard for evidence in case I jump off the deep end?