I have talked about suicidal ideation almost on a weekly basis, and I'm pretty sure I'm walking on a very thin line with what my T will do this week if I'm open and honest like I've been with them. My T has warned me in a session that if my SI continued that he would have to try other interventions, and said if I kept experimenting with pills that he would have to call 911.

But the 911 part was told to me before I actually got 911 called on me by a crisis line for saying I took 7 pills and was taken to the ER. I'm very afraid of telling my crisis therapist tomorrow that I was very ready to take pills tonight. I can not afford to be hospitalized.