Hello Fox and the Hound,

It sounds to me as though you have very low self-esteem, and that your best friend is one person (in your mind) that actually listens to you. As a result, you take out your anger, resentment, and self-hate out on your friend. While you may not be actively planning these negative remarks and responses to her, I suspect that it is an automatic behavior that is going to take some tough self-work to turn around.

I think that it's a good sign that you have recognized this negative behavior. Kudos to you for moving along! Please try not to take the snippy remarks that you've heard personally ~ we all have negative behaviors that need some reining in. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here!

I would recommend getting in to see a T, and perhaps a community support group as well, to help you overcome this negative behavior by stopping the thought pattern. Replace this negative thought pattern with healthier techniques of getting through the tension. Work on making yourself feel better about who you are. And, hopefully, work upon re-building a healthy relationship with your long-time friend.

Very best wishes to you ~ take care!