I know how hard it is to want to go to the hospital. They only discovered my SI. The last time I was in for strong suicidal feelings. Not pleasant, but for the last time I went, there was a sense of relief because I knew I could get something to help the feelings and the pressure that was making me that way. Helped some, but they had me go to a PHP, which I still attend. Sometimes I don't like it and other times it has really helped.

Just depends on insurance and how much your state or county is willing to help with the mentally Ill.

Good luck.