Just wanted to post an update as I've managed to move forward into a much better place with this. I took a couple of days to think and then decided to see T again for a kind of post termination review - rather than go to the other T to ask her advice.

It was a good move because this time (maybe because now she knows I've left, I don't know) she was her usual self. She listened to me and I was able to sum up how the therapy with her had been helpful where it had been, but also where and how it had been difficult. She said she had often found it difficult to not see me as one of her daughters or as a friend (therein lay the problem then!) and admitted she had handled some things clumsily and that that would have been hurtful to me. It's not good that she didn't know how to handle her counter transference if that was what it was.

Something I can see is that her usual clients are short term. Never more than a year. She does short CBT work for people struggling with OCD, phobias etc and her direct, tougher method is maybe at times suited in those circumstances. I ended up with her accidentally really - she had been seeing one of my children for OCD and I'd got to know her. I think she should have referred me to someone else before I got very attached to her. I think a T (like her) who is trained and experienced in dealing with short term issues is not always able to care properly for someone with deeper, life long stuff. It's a different set of skills and approach. There was something about her that I liked and found supportive and helpful but then there was also often a kind of feeling of simply not being on the same page at times.

Anyway, so where I am now is that I feel we've cleared the air and I can go in peace as it were! I'm going to take the good things I got from her and leave it at that. I might send her an email in six months, a year to say how things are - but I wouldn't go down the route of having more sessions with her.

Thanks so much all of you