Thanks for all your replies and concern. It made a difference. I just did what I needed to. I've been through this kind of thing too often to not do anything in advance to give myself space. It sucks that it is on a holiday when others want to get together. I do understand that, but it is not fair to not be heard and feel empathy for my situation. I still don't feel that empathy, except on here and with my shrink. Someday my husband will come around. That will be a real step forward.