Alright so I am a freshman in college and I live on campus. I was forced to see a therapist because I had threatened suicide at the beginning of the semester. Anyway, this is where I met the therapist. I saw her for probably two months.

At my college they only do "brief therapy" so our time was up. About two weeks ago was our last session.

anyway, the last time I saw her, she had asked me to sign paperwork so she would have permission to talk to my teachers and help me out with my missed work and all that. So I did and then as I was leaving the office, she asked if I was okay.

I said yes, kind of, then she told me I could still come to group (which I thought was a group that she led, she made it sound like she did, and I thought that was her way of saying "I know you'll miss me, you can still see me..." like maybe she cared about me and still wanted to see me...

but as it turns out I was wrong in thinking that. Because I went to the group today and sat in the waiting room. My ex-therapist comes into the room and I stand up and so does another girl. This girl is the client she's about to see. So all three of us just stand there for a second, me thinking this is group until I see the confused look on her face...

That's when my ex-therapist tells me that "another person does the group, not me" she waved at me and smiled and looked surprised to see me... which surprised me... but still. My spirits just dropped when she told me that she didn't do the group cause that was literally the only reason I went to the stupid group today, to see her, and she wasn't even doing it. I felt embarrassed and humiliated too.

But I miss her. And this "brief therapy" thing sucks because I miss our sessions. I just feel really lost without her. I have a new therapist but I like my old one better and I connected better with her, I feel like she understands me and genuinely cares and I just feel a connection with her. I'm so distraught.

What's even worse is that this semester will be over soon anyway and I'll have to leave campus and go back home for the break. I don't know if I'll ever see her again. She gave me hope.

As I said... I like my new one... but I miss my old one deeply and I feel lost. Just, what can I do? Is there anything I can do? If I showed up there and asked to talk to her what would happen?

God, I don't even know. I just feel horrible and stupid.