I'm in a weird spot emotionally today. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I'm restless and bored and a bit sad, but not quite sure why. I want to do things, but I don't. I want to talk to someone, but I don't. I'm not seeing my T again till Friday (all messed up because of the holiday and their accreditation review today). I could call her, but I'm not sure why I would. I don't really trust her lately, and I don't feel like I can ask for anything. I also have no idea what I would ask for. I just know that going a week and a half is difficult when I had been going twice a week recently. After my hospital stay, we dropped to once a week (which felt weird, but again, I don;t feel like I can ask for much anymore). I'm treading water waiting for the holidays to be over (both emotionally and in therapy).
I had been working on an art project for much of the week, and I think I finished it, but now I have nothing to do. I could start something else, but I don't really have any ideas or energy to follow through.
I don't know. I don't know what to do or not do. I hate this depression void.