I have been hopitalized inpatient twice and Intensive Outpatient once because of suicidal ideation. It's not something I brag about to others, but neither do I feel particularly ashamed of.

All three times saved my life, so how could I see them as anything but positive. I was sent there by doctor's who knew how ill I was. I was in a really bad way. Each time I had a major change in medications that pulled me out of the deep depression I was in.

I'm sorry if you weren't helped by your hospitalization but many are and I don't feel that it has degraded me or my self worth. I wish you could see it at least as a medicine that didn't work for you and let yourself release this terrible burden you are carrying. But you have to be the one to accept it for yourself that it is in the past and place it behind you. Best wishes to you.