That's great that you messaged your T and that she responded so well. I understand the ambivalence around staying attached to her, and I think it's good to be mindful of how contact with her affects you. In a way, she has opened herself to you, and you have the power to modulate how close to her feels comfortable (or comfortable enough). Is that something you could experiment with? Rather than making a decision to message her or not, try it once and see how it goes. Or choose not to message her one day, and see how that feels?