I truly hope you and your fiance are able to break free of this.

My family was this manipulative, controlling and intrusive.

I ended up having to completely break off all contact with them.

It was the only way to save myself.

I'm surprised your fiancee's therapist hasn't told her how improperly enmeshed her mother is in her life.

When we don't know where we begin and the other person ends, that's totally messed up.

Good luck. It really sucks to be stuck in a situation like this.