Can anyone help give me a helpful perspective or something?? I'm going to be facing him soon and I want to appreciate his attempt to be constructive but I'm so angry cos of being stung where I need to be soothed.

I know he loves me and I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but he did in a very intimate way and vulnerable place and it still hurts ... At least this time he wanted and tried to make it better, but that was done so mechanically it did more harm than good ...

He's said sorry for mucking things up and f###ing up my night (physically too wound up and emotionally too stinging to sleep), but I need healing. I need to hear and feel from him that ...well, the opposite of how it felt last night. (I know he feels those things most of the time)

When he saw this later morning that his "sorry" and little hand-rubbing hadn't 'made me feel better' he said we could talk at lunch time. But it's not talk I need any more! I've explained! And how can it work if I say, "well, do such and such and say this and that" ... ?? I feel like having said I need healing where I was hurt should be enough to motivate the helpful response.

Does any of this make sense to anyone?? Please?? Or do I just sound crazy/unreasonable ...? We've only just restored our lovingness and playfulness into our rel'ship again, and I don't want it to be lost but I also can't gloss my inner self over ...

I'm grateful for any kind of feedback, and appreciate that I can blurt this out here!