I agree with Rohag, MTJ. The experience of being unwanted, not-good-enough early in life can have lifelong consequences if not addressed -- and unfortunately not all therapists are equally good at helping people address it. Nevertheless, have you talked with your T about this? Maybe he or she can help you some more if you bring the topic up.

Another good resource for understanding the potent effect of shame is Brene Brown, mentioned in a thread here recently.

Dealing with my early stuff was extremely, extremely painful but ultimately it was healing and I no longer feel embarrassed for my behavior when I was "mentally ill" because really I WAS ill and I know that because I'm not (at least so much) any more.

Recovery IS possible. Just keep on keeping on.