I finally visited my cat and she's doing very badly. Her belly is hard and she growls if you touch it. She was constantly screaming in pain and having contorted body movements. She's also bleeding in the land down under; I feel so overwhelmed. I can't keep her at my home and the current place she is living at is terrible. I'm starting to break down because of how hard this is and I view pets as my babies because I most likely could never reproduce due to female health complications. I heard a voice today that told me to kill myself so I already know I'm going to go extremely manic from being bullied by voices and by my over emotional attachment to my babies. Life is hard