That's a great edit, JSG. Thanks!

Thanks, Petra. It's hard to summarize the story, but the shortest version of it is this: I met with my exT for six years, working a lot on recurrent depression, prior trauma, and attachment issues. I had a lot of transference-rooted feelings toward my T, which we tried to work through, but I think she either lost patience, was uncertain about how to proceed, or was just out of her depth with me.

She distanced herself from me by saying that she would no longer discuss our relationship. Near the end of our time together, I sought consultation from an outside T (my current T) to address a specific problem outside of my exT's area of expertise. I also ended up consulting about the seeming impasse with my exT.

I will fully own that I was less than honest with exT about what I was doing. She knew that I had gone for the initial consultation sessions, but I didn't let her know that I continued intermittently to consult with this other T until several months down the line when I came to recognize that current T seemed to "get" me much better than exT, and to respond to me in ways I found immensely helpful.

I told T about all of this, in a letter I wrote to her, that I had actually felt really ambivalent about sending. (I didn't send it, but read it to her in session.) I thought I had expressed how conflicted I felt about wanting to work things through with exT, since I had invested SO much time and energy into that relationship, while also feeling as if she was making that difficult to do.

Despite telling me that she would be there and we would work through whatever we needed to, exT contacted me by email several days letter, saying that we needed to end, that it would be unethical of her to continue seeing me given that I had found another T who could better help me.

I promptly lost my **** and probably made everything a thousand times worse by freaking out on her. In our last session, she told me she would meet with me again to "discuss our ending," but only after I had "spent some time working on all of this" with another T.

Ok, that was so not a short version! It's hard for me to write about, and yet I also feel compelled to do so. I feel like I've had no recourse in the matter, and told her so in our last session, that it felt unfair of her to unilaterally terminate therapy. She insisted it was my decision to end, given that I had told her that therapy with her had not been helpful to me in some time (which was true).

Ugh, I also don't want my recourse to be *****ing on the internet about her. So sorry for the earful