LMTL, thank you so much for taking the time to thoughtfully read my letter and offer your thoughts. I think you're absolutely right that I kind of go off the rails in parts by basically lashing out at her. Thank you for the reminder to focus on "I" statements.

And you make a good point too that there is a difference between wanting to be heard and wanting to say these things. I think I get caught up in wanting both of these things! But I get that I can't necessarily have both. Perhaps I'm fearful that I won't actually be heard (this was a recurring theme at the end of our therapy), so I'm taking king of a Hail Mary approach toward getting in all of the things I feel like I need to say.

I think her reasoning behind wanting a third party is that she wants someone there to support me. I think. I have a hard time not reading "we need someone else here because you're too crazy to actually hear what I'm saying," or something similar, into it. I hear your point, though.

The countertransference piece - it's good to know that that comes off as snarky. That wasn't my intention, but I see how it could be read that way. I recognize that I'm trying to equalize the power imbalance between us, trying to force her to acknowledge that she played a role in the ending of our therapy. But I don't think I'll change her mind about that - and I know I certainly won't if I come across as demeaning.

Thanks again, LMTL. You've given me a lot to think about.