I'm really depressed and I'm tired of it. I try to do so much and it always ends up a disaster. I tried to go to college and I kept getting so bored and frustrated. I had such bad anxiety that I stopped going. I'm ending all my friendships because everyone just ends up being mean or down, or doing drugs, or beating down my self esteem. My boyfriend is hypersexual. I love my life. Don't get me wrong I'm scared to say I need a vacation because last time my dad was on vacation he found out his brother was sick, and he had to leave and rush to his side to say goodbye. I took a sleeping pill and it made me so loopy that I feel like I made everyone more upset at the funeral. I couldn't hold it together. I attempted suicide after my "recently deceased" uncle made me promise not to overdose, because I was having an imaginary conversation with him. And the very word triggered me so much I did it. I'm over that now. I want off my medication because it's making me worse and no one pays enough attention to listen to my needs. Or they're just listening to other people and not me. My mom lied to get me hospitalized when I was a little manic due to trying to come off of Abilify, and my parents were so controlling that every attempt to control me backfired on them 10x worse. It wasn't fair. I shouldn't have been told at fifteen years old that I was a chronic schizophrenic I mean like wtf? How could u know that early? what kind of system is that when u break down due to family issues and bullying in hs and they lock u up and diagnose u with schizophrenia?