Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam
I don't understand this. I've never been bothered by my partner's past sex history. I've been adventurous sexually in my past and have quite a few notches in my bed post and I would be so wounded if my partner was bothered deeply by this.
To me, my past may be.colored but IT'S MY PAST. I've moved on and grown as a person, those things hold no meaning to me anymore. If I wanted it I'd have it. The thing is, I chose to be with my boyfriend. I chose to pursue a loving and committed relationship and to not engage in 3somes and casual sex.
To me, this should matter more than anyone I slept with before or past promiscuity. My past helped shape me but doesn't define me or my values and what I think is important. I'm sure this is the same for her. Just a thought.
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Well I only speak from my past experience and really I'm not saying it is something I stand behind and support or anything just saying some people may have this problem
I don't feel right about it, even though I do believe a big part of it was that she was promiscuous, and adulterous. I think that the fact that she continued her sexual escapades well into our marriage (of 6 yrs), was affecting the reason that I had trouble with her sexuality.
I don't think I knew it consciously right away but found out the hard way that she was cheating on me the entire time and my feelings of unease were more related to my suspicion of what she doing. I'm sure that came into play until the day I literally found out about it without a doubt.
So I guess it's more than just her past really. To be honest, from our daughter I've since found out that she has continued to live the same way.
but yeah I understand your perspective. It is judgemental but as I said if it bothers him, at the very least he needs to communicate with her about it and then work on it, most likely, himself coming to terms with her sexuality.