THANK YOU to everyone who replied! The support is so needed and I am so grateful. Everything all of you said is completely true.

And yes Themeanreds, I was having the same thought about how absolutely inappropriate and appalling it would be for someone to tell somebody with cancer or parkinsons or any other illness that they had no hope for them. Really the word for that is cruel. So i feel here is just another example of not having our illness respected and viewed as a real illness and by someone who should know better.

As one of my other friends said when she heard the story "Well what does she think you should do then? Just kill yourself now?" I mean seriously.

Unfortunately, this is not the only or the last appalling thing she has done. She has basically told me that because of her "fear" she doesn't want to be involved in my bipolar anymore or the inner workings of me in general (we were very close and I told her more than I ever told anyone else. felt very safe with her. foolish me!)

And here it is guys! Here is the kicker! She is supposed to come to my house next week and stay with me for five whole days!

I had thought i could put my hard *** I don't need anybody walls back up around here and get on with it with the goal of not losing the whole relationship thinking maybe someday she would get over whatever is going on with her right now. (this is a 14 year best friendship) But now I am just feeling like I have gone to embarrassing lengths to give her opportunities to prove my broken heart wrong and she is just not going to do it. I do have self respect and I feel pushed past my limit. Telling her now to come will cause a bigger rift for sure but I am having a hard time caring right now. I need to take care of myself.