When I was 15, I began to recall sexual abuse as well, somewhat like you describe, though not exactly. I was living with the person. I reported them when I was 16. It was a traumatic experience.

My advice to you, as someone who struggled terribly hard with disclosing, who lost my family over it and is dealing with some of it still, is to find someone trustworthy, who will not jump to conclusions.

What you have are drawings, nightmares, and a fear reaction to a song and the image of daycare. I know it is a very disturbing feeling to see drawings like that and have such dark, terrifying dreams. Take those things and do not try to add to them. Our minds can make mistakes when we try to force them to fill in blanks, because memories fade, blur, blend and sometimes warp over time.

Work on your fears, work on your nightmares, take them at face value, for what they are, fears, nightmares, pictures, until you feel better about them. Don't try and write a whole story when what you have now are sentences. This will help your healing and allow anything that *needs* to come up, to come up, without being corrupted by the urgings of other people to "figure out" all the details that may be lost in time, or to accidentally mash up or invent additional issues or memories, which can commonly happen when we go on mental witch hunts for abuse history.

I am very very sorry you're struggling.

I hope you will take it slow and gentle, and work with someone extraordinarily careful and caring to feel better.