My first boyfriend was the way you describe yourself, with me. He was controlling, insecure, jealous, had a bad temper, and and would obsess over me thinking another guy was attractive. It ended up pushing me away completely to the point that his fears came true -- I did seek out other people, desperately trying to end the relationship.
It is a difficult thing to quiet these very strong fears, but like everyone else says, what matters is that he is with YOU. Maybe you can be open with him and let him know that you're having trouble with self-esteem and insecurities. If he responds with compassion and understanding, then great, but if he gets upset or thinks you're crazy, then it's definitely time to kick him to the curb. Good luck! Keep us updated.