Hello Summer,
I understand exactly what you are saying. There are parts of me that are very sexual, but there are times that she does not appear for a long while. My partner was very understanding, It has been difficult for me at times to be touched, without the feeling of guilt and shame. And the awful feeling of feeling unclean. I have a bad habit of bathing in bleach when feeling unclean.
Now unfortunately, my partner/spouse has Late Stage Lyme Disease and Multiple Sclerosis and the pressures of s*x have dwindled. If I may suggest, make a date with hubby and ask your insider to be available. I know it losses spontaneity, but is something you can work up to.