Hi Summerflower, welcome to PC. I can understand what you are saying. I never remembered any intimacy at all and often the word s*x makes me skip out of my brain pretty fast. But I had two children so I know it happened, but I don't have any memory of it.

I have not had to deal with it because my husband passed away several years ago. Are you in therapy?

With these barriers in our brains, our brains have learned to deal with whatever life throws at us. Everything is done for protection. As you work through therapy, hopefully this will lessen. For me, I have so much to work on... and it scares me to death at this point... that we don't talk about it. I'm one of the world's best avoiders.

Good luck to you in this situation.