Hi Perryc
Sure I cannot imagine how painful this is for you, you have all my sympathy. Hope my comment is not harsh or sharp, or insensitive: Even you were unworthy, her cheating is about her and her attitude. It is wrong to cheat. And, to me, reasons for cheating go beyond the other (deserving or non-deserving) partner/spouse. It is about the cheater, her/his inner world, her/his representation of her/himself, her/his self-esteem, her/his infancy, parents, family story, sexual drives, etc.
The cheated one is just a factor among others.
Her cheating is the wrong virtual knife to stab yourself in your heart, to tell yourself: I deserve this, I am worthless, 100 times. Because you may have been one of the 100 causes she had for cheating.
On the other hand, you seem to be somebody with a sensitive soul, I think you are worthy. Hope you continue posting