Oh smearedinblackink so feeling for your heartbreak. That is really hard, and it was done so hurtfully. Proud of you for allowing yourself to deal with the feelings and process it, and for being able to choose to be so patient in the face of it.
I don't think you should be blaming yourself, though. It seems to me you were just doing and being what good friends usually are with each other.
And there's more I had said but accidentally hit the wrong thing and lost it all. And now I have to dash
But know that you are doing well and we're sending love