Quote:
Originally Posted by emptyandhostile-
so I know quite a bit about my boyfriends previous history with women.
I know that most of them in my opinion are prettier than me.
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The operative word combination here is "in my opinion". In other words, he did not express any verbal preference for them as far as you know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emptyandhostile-
He really likes women with a big booty, short hair, and pale skin,
he hates women with crooked bottom teeth... which i have and tan skin because apperantly it's gross
i havve a small butt, and medium length hair.
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If he REALLY likes women with short hair, and by "really" I mean that he has said it to you and has cut his finger to produce blood and written, with his bloody finger, "I prefer women with short hair", then, if you are not altogether opposed to the idea, go get a haircut.
Crooked teeth can be repaired, but it would cost a lot of money. If you can afford it, then I would ask a decent girlfriend (not him, but a girlfriend who is hopefully neutral and trustworthy), if you have one, to give you an honest opinion on whether you need dental work, and proceed from there.
A big booty is not something you can get without implants, and with implants you would look ridiculous, so it is best to accept your small booty and think of it as an asset rather than liability. Find panties that best present your posterior and then rest on your laurels.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emptyandhostile-
I've kind of let myself go over the past few months. my skin is breaking out, i've gained weight, my hair is dry and damaged, and i just look like crap in general. I don't really wear makeup anymore or get out of the house much I've just been so depressed lately
I constantly picture him with past girlfriends/friends and I feel like I'm about going to go in a jealous rage  I don't understand. I go through his old msgs on fb and I have made him block other women on fb before that I felt like they were a threat to me. He's never cheated on me, but I think I'm just really insecure and afraid of him leaving me for someone else because I never feel good enough. I know he is getting sick and tired of this behavior, but I can't bring myself to change. |
There are some things here that you can change.
1) See a dermatologist or a GP to get a prescription tretinoine cream, and get an OTC anti-acne wash with 10% benzoyl peroxide - you can use it in the shower. Wash your face no more than once daily and use prescription tretinoine nightly. Never wash your face more often than that. This needs to be done yesterday - go to CVS or a similar drugstore to start treating your skin right away, because it would produce a bit of an improvement while you wait for an appointment. Do not delay, because delaying this and dealing with breakouts later when they become a sheer catastrophe might very well mean that you would need topical antibiotics and even oral anti-acne medications whose side effect is increased suicidality. So do not delay - get the wash and call to make appointment as soon as they can see you.
2) Eat normally - do not panic that you have gained weight and do not diet, because it would in the long run only exacerbate your weight gain. Eat normally and do some cardio exercise, which you need to beat depression anyway.
3) Get some products for dry and damaged hair - maybe some leave-in conditioners or masks.
4) Get treatment for depression! Healing-me and Trippin have already said that, but it is the most obvious thing that you yourself are blind to. You wrote that you are afraid that he would find somebody prettier or happier than you. Well, there are things to do to be prettier - say, a new haircut and no more acne should help - but there are even more things to do to be happier! You need to start spending time outdoors, being socially with people other than your bf, spending time in the sun depending on climate, exercising (not to lose weight but to obtain health benefits of exercise including a reduction in the symptoms of anxiety and depression), etc. Who said that going over his old FB messages would help alleviate your anxiety? Who said that?
Most importantly, accept that there are never any guarantees. If he leaves you for another woman, you will THEN feel hurt, disappointed, heartbroken, in despair, etc. - then, not now. Now you are wasting precious energy trying to prepare yourself for such an event and rehearse your reactions. All of that is not needed and even harmful. Or is it that you simply cannot help thinking about anything else?