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Dec 05, 2013, 11:16 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,517
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Since you posted this in the Personality Place forum, I’ll tell you what I got from reading what you wrote here. I’ve done a lot of research on my own disorder – including books and stuff I read before I was officially diagnosed – but if you want a person who really knows psychology, a therapist who specializes in personality disorders would be the one to ask, not me.
Sorry that your current therapy isn’t helping.
As you probably know, identity concerns are a “normal” event in adolescence. That’s part of what everybody does, goes from being a child to an adult, and that changes one’s sense of who he or she is. But I can understand if you’re wondering, at 18, if that will ever happen. Of course, maybe you’re just one of those for whom it takes longer. But maybe not.
Thing is, with regard to the therapy, if you ARE having problems that are typical for people diagnosed with personality disorders, then the loss of your father from you life at age 3 could have been a critical event preventing your “self” from developing normally, based on the stuff I’ve read. "Not caring about him at all" could be a way of avoiding the pain of that loss.
On the other hand if therapy isn’t helping, maybe it’s not therapy that is “right” for you, but the current state of the mental health system in the USA for people who have the conditions that get classed as personality disorders is really poor IMHO.
Since you’re 18, I’m wondering if you’re still on someone else’s (your mom’s?) insurance for therapy. But even if you are – can YOU take charge of trying to find a therapist who can help you more than the ones you’ve been seeing? Ask that person (or persons) the questions you asked here in your post and don’t stop looking until you find a professional psychologist who can answer them. Good luck!! 
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