Yes, defintely get some counseling. Don't repress your feelings; ;they are all you have to understand what is going on. An idea is to write a letter of restorative justice....restorative justice says...this is what you did, this is how it made me feel. The letter is for YOU; it take some of your power back that was stolen as a child. Feel ALL of your feelings; keep a journal, talk and talk and talk. Hugs