I have no doubt that many of the emotional abusers have NO IDEA that they are doing the damage that they are.....

In my case, most of the abuse that I have dealt with was as a child (physical, mental & emotional) came from my brother and my mother. To this day - neither of them have any clue the damage that they did. Neither know that I have been put in the nuthouse (in part) due to my inability to cope with this crap..

NOW - both of them are really good, loving people (most of the time). So, I really can not "blame" them or hate them for the past. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I could hate them. But I can't. And I suppose part of this is because I know they had no idea.... and part of me tries to tell myself that I do not understand what burdens *they* were under - that led them to act the way they did.....