Hi, I'm new to a support group for Depression. I was hospitalized for 6 days in November for suicidal thoughts and then completed 10 days of a partial hospitalization program. I'm really worried now (after completing this) that I am going to go back to the same old things. So I'm trying all avenues to not do that. I went back to work Monday and Tuesday (I'm a teacher) and ended up telling them I wasn't ready to go back to work. I don't think I'm ready, but I need a paycheck. Really just had more time to focus on myself and getting better. I also have a lot of anxiety and PTSD. Felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin! Have no patience and a lot of anger (two things that are not at all normal for me). Seem to be experiencing moments where I'm really good and happy and then when I'm down and debate whether or not I need to go back to the partial program. I'm hoping some of that is that my new medicines aren't fully working yet. I really just feel like I am kind of lost, not really sure what I am supposed to be doing or why I am feeling this way.