Yeah, don't give in to the urge to blow up if you can help it. Blowing up just reinforces the notion (in my mom anyway) that she's right, she's the victim, I'm overreacting, I'm ungrateful, I'm a b****, etc etc. The only thing she learns from it is that she can use that as yet more "evidence" for what an ungrateful child I am.

Why are your nieces and nephew exposed to your mom that much?

My parents are less than 20 minutes from my brother and sister in law which is unfortunately how they see them often. My niece is about to be 3 in February and I think it is amazing how young children gravitate towards someone who is calm and is purely engaged in interacting with them.....rather than someone like my mom who is more like "sit down, shut up and behave." It's funny how when she's over here she either wants to hang out with me or my dad. She doesn't go out of her way to see my mom most of the time. (It reminds me of how Cesar Milan interacts with dogs and projects his calm, assertive energy).

Yah you are right to resist the urge to blow up at her bc it will once again reinforce to her or anyone else around that I'm the irrational, crazy one. I don't know how long you have realized and known this about your mom, but I just had my "aha" everything makes perfect sense more than a week ago. How long have you known about your mom? Most of the time I'm positive about creating those silent & giving her less information boundaries, but sometimes I get angry even if I see/hear her abusing someone else.

Oddly enough, I'm thankful I am living with her now bc it's forcing me to be "on emotional gaurd" everyday so once I can move out the healing process has already been in full force. If I wasn't living here, I don't know if I ever would've figured out my mom has NPD. I've always known something was not normal about her since I can remember. My brother and sister have as well but they are both married to people who have more than one of the NPD tendencies/traits. So, I'm grateful I can now be free from winning a battle once in a while but always losing the war.



Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk