Here's the short list of what my mother did:

Let my father chase me down the hall with a belt (I was 6)

Didn't get me therapy after my father tried to murder her, turned the gun on himself and wound up on the front page of the SF Chronicle

Tried to kill herself twice and let my sister and I be the ones to find and save her. I was 13. No therapy after that either.

Slapped me if I said something that she didn't like.

Called me a donkey.

When I was 52 years old, she finally said to me " I guess I wasnt a very good mother" and I think she really thought I would disagree with her!!

Tough question, did she know while she did all this or did it finally occur to her when she was 76 flippin years old???????????

Sorry about your mother. The abuse did stop with me, although, thinking back I wish I would have never let her near my kids! Hugs and good luck.